I'm not finished documenting all of the monkey news but I want to share this collection of absolute bollocks. Below is my master list of some of my favorite shite that Karl has unleashed unto the airwaves.
A monkey that was ... riding the bus but not paying the fare (XFM)
A monkey that lives in Morocco, works for a magician, collecting money. the magician had a word with the monkey and (the monkey is called 86 and also Karl laughed during the story) and they go to Spain. When they stopped for gas the monkey stole the car and went off to Spain on his own (XFM).
A monkey that works in a railyard(Ricky screams: Just tell us!!)
A monkey that saved a woman's handbag in a subway station
A monkey that was a hairdresser
The monkey director - "he had a lot of good shots," says Pilkington.
Porn
Chat rooms - a doctor was keeping an eye on the chat room, but every once in a while they came across weird messages like instead of "do you want to meet in a bar" it was like "what tree do you want to meet in?" RICKY: "you're an idiot if you believe that s-h-it... you're sick." KARL "Instead of bring something sexy it was like bring lots of bananas
Highly educated, speaks... photographer." RICKY: he realizes the ape is superior - he has to look up to him
KARL: "He loves going on computer chat rooms..."
Karl says he'd love to have a little monkey at home.
KARL: Monkey tripped up a guy in a train station who grabbed a woman's purse... RICKY: he tripped over the monkey, play a record.
Two fellas are running a farm in Texas... they're out and about and find some monkeys out in the farm. "Look we need a bit of a'hand" and the monkeys were looking for work. Taught the monkeys how to ride a horse. Worked out so well they got a female monkey and they had kids. But the problem was, when the woman came in - which monkey got the lady? "They had a bit of a shoot-off"
Farm's still running.
Olympics.
Gang of monkeys. First time I ever laughed on the air. Took a break. Came back and started over.
Some people were making a documentary in the jungle - stumbled across a little gang. Camera crew is filming it. Saw a female walking about - getting fatter every day. They followed it - it was going off to the side... prostitute. Getting fat because it was getting paid in bananas.
